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@ 2009-07-05 – 19:24:09
It all started more or less this time last year.
I have saved all our correspondence. In a way, that is the reason I never deleted this blog, and I have had plenty of temptations and opportunities to do so.
It is painful to read it all, from the beginning.
From beginning to end. And back again.
I like punishing myself. I am comfortable punishing myself.
I'll stop reading when I get to 'I love you.'
Too much punishment. Even by my standards.
LegendaryFire
Pro 
lucreziaborgia
Pro No. I am a fool, and very good at it too. x
LegendaryFire
Pro You are not a fool. Sometimes foolish. But not a fool. D x
rithompson
Why is it that self pity and self punishment feel so comforting?
lucreziaborgia
Pro Well known territory? And don't we punish the more those whom we love the most? In my case, it's retribution, and a need to feed the guilt. Aching balances its depth.
rithompson
I know about feeding guilt. Probably more than is healthy.
lucreziaborgia
Pro Never healthy, but unavoidable, in my case at least.
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D x