On holiday.

Time to re-focus, re-group and re-consider.

Time to gather and tie-up; re-assemble and shift around. I fold inside myself to look at life as it is now. I speak to people I have not spoken to in a long time, and meet others I did not know.

I have always been the one who organised the baby showers, who ran the Sunday classes at my church, who cooked for the Alfa Course, the needy and the sick. I have been the one to manage crises and clean toilets. To entertain when I wanted to sleep, to read aloud when I had no voice.

I got part of me back, now I need the portion which was never mine to hold, as it belongs to the others.

I still struggle. I still try to get out of a car which is moving, and shut out what I cannot cope with.

Nevertheless I like myself infinitely more than I did. My children like me more than they ever did. A holiday indeed.